Stock Family Trip : Time and love, our two year anniversary

On November 1st, 2016 we will be achieving an important milestone. That special day will mark two years since we sold our business and with it our only source of income. Three months after selling the business we embarked on our family road trip through Latin America. I was updating our blog recently, which led to me to do some soul searching on how we've changed over the years. For starters we have not used an alarm clock in two years and I am grinning uncontrollably admitting to that fact. Surprisingly, though, not having a buzzer jolting us up in the morning, like licking a 9-volt battery, doesn't mean you sleep any longer. We still get up early but its just easier to do so without the fear of being late. Some might also understand that our coffee is the exact same but savoring it slowly makes it taste so much better. This probably explains one of the most profound aspects of being outside the "treadmill," things are deceptively similar, yet feel so very different. It is easy to see why some people say, "Wherever you go, there you are" but it is more than that and only time will show you how that works.
Some of our changes are simply an aspect of getting older. This is most notable in my daughters, they are gaining more autonomy and maturing with each passing day. As my daughters blossom, I feel as if I am on the other side of the flower's life cycle, slowly withering. Mind you, this is coming from a middle-aged man, where my fate and fragility swirl like tempests, far too often, in my thoughts. Thankfully though, understanding the gritty truths about life's ups and downs is why this ride can be an amazing journey, especially when we listen to our hearts.
Outside of aging, the remainder of our changes have come from being in a different place with different foods, language, and culture. Our presence abroad, has meant we are often not in control and often not in the decision loop. I mentioned this last year, and for my children to see their parents not knowing everything has made them stronger people. My daughters look to their parents now, not for answers but to see how we solve problems and get to solutions. I know back in the first world, strong leaders make all the decisions and are usually well informed. However, in the last two years, our family has discovered a new kind of leader, one that questions things, one that can take "No" for an answer, and one that dances around problems instead of being insulted by them. Being flexible while traveling is critical and probably explains why so many first world leadership personalities are so easily frustrated abroad.
Life, undoubtedly, has more clarity without the distractions of the work-life balance. After all, most people would agree that they feel rejuvenated after a vacation and getting away from it all. True, you don't need to sell everything to get clarity, but you do have to create the conditions so that you can listen to your inner-truer-self. I've explained several times since this blog's inception that I denied my dreams, for practical considerations, for nearly 25 years. I often wonder if my wife and daughters weren't so adamant about taking this trip, would I've quietly denied my dreams, forever? Amazing to think that my greatest source of self validation came from my daughters' and wife's desires to live life now, not later.
I encourage you not to be the person that constantly shifts your personal goal posts to buy more time from making the tough decisions. Don't be that person who says, "I can do it", when deep down in your heart, you know you can't. Don't be the person that says, "When I retire I will be able to do what I want." What I am saying is, "Don't be me." Don't be the person that I was for the last 25 years, always pushing things off to tomorrowland. Truthfully speaking, the bucket for "my bucket" list was overflowing with dreams and to-dos and it was actually quite sad to admit that I did this to myself, through years of neglect. Once I had the time to reflect on more simple truths like, time and love are precious, every fork in the road or decision thereafter, became much easier and more obvious.
A good majority of our stress is of our own creation. Stress is the symptom of something else, and usually that something else, is our own inability to be honest with ourselves about the original stressors. Case in point, we lost our home and everything in it, 5 years ago, to a wildfire. Since the fire was essentially an act of nature there wasn't anyone to blame and forced us to focus on healing instead of the cause. What if our house burned down because my wife left the stove on or she knocked over a candle? Would that have given me a channel for my frustration and anger and would I have focused on blaming instead of healing? In the end, we still lost our home and all of our possessions, regardless of the cause, but focusing on endless blame would've given me an excuse to be a victim instead of a survivor.
Stress is real, but so too are the solutions for handling it. Taking a breather is important, but in our ever faster world and ever younger talent vying for our jobs, pausing for self reflection can sound a bit unrealistic. Taking a moment or hopefully many moments to recharge will make your decisions clearer and help you repel your stresses. Yes, it is that easy, take time, vacate, and enjoy - repeat as necessary.
People have been asking us, what our next step will be? Well, plainly speaking, we are not sure and not in a hurry to find out. We do a lot of thinking on the subject of happiness and living a more purposeful life. Wanting a better life and achieving it, though, are two different matters. We find drawbacks in each of our possible options and reinforces the notion, "You can't have everything." We are currently thinking that a smaller city of under 50,000 residents, in a more rural setting, would be most desirable. As for where that might be, will largely hinge on our daughters' ability to discover their own inner-spark, happiness, and sense of identity. After all, it's their turn to shine, in life's spotlight, not ours.
Our two years of freedom have opened our eyes to alternative lifestyles and has proven to us with such clarity that the fears so many of us have about the third world are unwarranted. Sure there are bad people here, but there are bad people where you are from as well. Living abroad is kind of like drinking the most spectacular red wine from a mason jar, it's perfectly imperfect. This trip has shown us how fear of the unknown once paralyzed us, and now that we can see beyond the fear, is so empowering. In this modern world of electronic pitchforks and daggers where images are often fake and confusing. I can honestly say to my wife and daughters, "You are the reason why I live so fully. You are the reason why we can touch life today, and if tomorrow never comes, I'll know we had a wonderful life together, filled with time and love"

Below are some images from the last two years: