Taking the leap

This is Elise.
As we get closer to our departure date I vacillate between excited and happy to nervous and anxious.  I am so happy we are doing this trip but sometimes I feel like I am taking a step off terra firma into a giant chasm and I don't know what's on the other side.  I am reminded of a dream I had a couple months ago where I am looking for a bike shop to pick up my new bike.  In the dream it takes me a long time and a lot of effort to find the bike shop.  When I finally get there I am happy to get my new bike but then I look in my trunk for my old bike and it is gone.  Where is my old bike?  I liked it and there was nothing wrong with it. The bike shop clerk says. " You can't get your new bike until you get rid of your old one."  But I don't know if I will like my new bike and I don't want to lose my comfortable old bike I am familiar with!  But, the dream said I must get rid of my old bike before I can get my new one.  So that is what I am going through right now as I pack our belongings, disconnect our internet and phones, and change our mailing address.  I am getting rid of my old life in preparation to begin a grand adventure.  I don't know what the future holds for us.  Will we want to come home in six months?  Will we want to settle down somewhere in Central America or Mexico?  Will we be robbed?  Will we be safe?
I am so grateful for all the support we have received from our friends.  I thought when we told people about what we were doing they would say we are crazy, stupid, and irresponsible.  How can we take our kids away from our good schools and safe community with lots of playmates to third world countries?  All those desperate illegal children at the border come from the very places we are going.  It turns out that most people express envy and admiration and wish they had done something like this themselves.  Some people are just waiting until the kids get out of high school or say they don't have enough money to do it.  I couldn't wait until the kids got out of school to make a life change.  I reached a point where I said, "I can't do this another ten years."  Despite outward appearances I felt there was something "off" or not fulfilling about my life.  I felt like I was living a life that was unauthentic, that I wasn't living my destiny.  A lot of my discontent came to a head when we had the pool cleaning business and I was very stressed.  I felt like my life had become unmanageable.  It had become too complicated with too many bank accounts, mail boxes, phone lines and way too many accounts with different passwords.  I hated the multi-tasking of running a business out of my home while raising two kids.  I had so much on my mind and was so scattered that I couldn't listen to my kids.  I was very impatient with them and sometimes downright rude to them.  Mike and I were fighting more than usual.  I couldn't sleep and was eating and drinking too much.
Since selling the business and deciding to take this trip I am becoming less stressed, happier, and am making lifestyle changes to live a healthier life.