Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Taking the leap

This is Elise.
As we get closer to our departure date I vacillate between excited and happy to nervous and anxious.  I am so happy we are doing this trip but sometimes I feel like I am taking a step off terra firma into a giant chasm and I don't know what's on the other side.  I am reminded of a dream I had a couple months ago where I am looking for a bike shop to pick up my new bike.  In the dream it takes me a long time and a lot of effort to find the bike shop.  When I finally get there I am happy to get my new bike but then I look in my trunk for my old bike and it is gone.  Where is my old bike?  I liked it and there was nothing wrong with it. The bike shop clerk says. " You can't get your new bike until you get rid of your old one."  But I don't know if I will like my new bike and I don't want to lose my comfortable old bike I am familiar with!  But, the dream said I must get rid of my old bike before I can get my new one.  So that is what I am going through right now as I pack our belongings, disconnect our internet and phones, and change our mailing address.  I am getting rid of my old life in preparation to begin a grand adventure.  I don't know what the future holds for us.  Will we want to come home in six months?  Will we want to settle down somewhere in Central America or Mexico?  Will we be robbed?  Will we be safe?
I am so grateful for all the support we have received from our friends.  I thought when we told people about what we were doing they would say we are crazy, stupid, and irresponsible.  How can we take our kids away from our good schools and safe community with lots of playmates to third world countries?  All those desperate illegal children at the border come from the very places we are going.  It turns out that most people express envy and admiration and wish they had done something like this themselves.  Some people are just waiting until the kids get out of high school or say they don't have enough money to do it.  I couldn't wait until the kids got out of school to make a life change.  I reached a point where I said, "I can't do this another ten years."  Despite outward appearances I felt there was something "off" or not fulfilling about my life.  I felt like I was living a life that was unauthentic, that I wasn't living my destiny.  A lot of my discontent came to a head when we had the pool cleaning business and I was very stressed.  I felt like my life had become unmanageable.  It had become too complicated with too many bank accounts, mail boxes, phone lines and way too many accounts with different passwords.  I hated the multi-tasking of running a business out of my home while raising two kids.  I had so much on my mind and was so scattered that I couldn't listen to my kids.  I was very impatient with them and sometimes downright rude to them.  Mike and I were fighting more than usual.  I couldn't sleep and was eating and drinking too much.
Since selling the business and deciding to take this trip I am becoming less stressed, happier, and am making lifestyle changes to live a healthier life.

1 comment:

  1. Breaker Breaker 1,2,3,4
    This is Mia knocking at your front door.

    So girls, I hear it was pretty scary leaving home and not knowing what to expect. Maybe I am wrong and you guys were gang-ho for the new chapter in your life.

    I am glad that I read this chapter of the book your mom and dad are creating for you. I peaked at the title and it is called life. I think you are on the 2nd or 3rd chapter in your books.

    ANYWAY, I can totally understand Elise. I kind of feel sad and depressed. I am so used to doing the same thing over and over each day that it is becoming normal to me. A bad normal.

    Sierra and Zoe, do you remember the last time your had a cough or that you were so sick that you had to stay home from school? Yucky! Well, I got sick a good, long, long, long, long time from when I became a grown up. I don't have a cold though. They call it Miss or MS.

    Well, I am telling you about that because I wish I'd taken more trips when I was younger. There are so many places I want to go and see and experience and create awesome sauce stories and memories. You are some lucky kids to learn how to live your life full of adventure. Even better, your mom and dad are taking you NOW!!! Do you know how much candy I would have given up for that? The cRaZy part is that you won't realize this until you are grown ups. You get Christmas morning everyday!!! Lets see if you can say Merry Christmas each morning you wake up. The first one to forget is a rotten egg! I just know your mom and dad will ENJOY THAT!! It will be like giving you a drum set!

    Well, realize that you don't get do-overs in life. You can't sit on the side of the road and hope that everything is different when you wake up. Nah kid, you have to put in some work. You've got to get up and walk during the day so that when you DO wake up the next morning, everything will look different and you can say to yourself "Merry Christmas". Each day will be like a new Christmas present. Hey, maybe that is what they mean when they say live in the present! I think I will find a bow to put on my pillow so that when I wake up, I will see that the day has been wrapped again just for me. You should do that too!

    This part is for mommy and daddy:
    It is so funny in hindsight that what smothered you and make you feel like you were drowning in everyday life was the pool business. I think that was the best investment you could have made at that time. Part of you was not listening to your spirits so your spirits found a way to get your attention. I guess it did a doggone good job because I bet you can speak enough Spanish to order all of the food that you want, find directions and talk your way out of a bar fight.

    Well, I should go now. I don't know why I keep at these things like I only have one letter to write. I kinda got beat over the head with some of that homeowner stuff that I am sure you miss! Roof needs a fixin', Snoopy needs eye surgery so that he can see again (cataracts), AND ta da!!! Thursday I found out that my plumbing problem was really a little bigger than we thought. Instead of the $125 we thought it was going to be, it took a steroid pill and in the span of 10 minutes, it grew into an $8,700 "gotta fix right now" kind of problem. When I took the dogs to the vet (over $800), I felt entitled to take a poo. That was the most expensive poo I've ever taken.

    Lucky for them, not me because I was leaving, I had a travel sized bottle of Lysol. I felt a lot better for the pets but moreso for their owners... especially if they had to go to the bathroom.

    When I got home, the toilets were working about 4 hours later.

    You know what, I just realized other people can read this. Well, this is Mia's dog Snoopy. I am quite a character especially since I can type with paws. I'd better get back down on all fours before she wakes up

    Roof, Roof,

    Snoopy, er I mean Mia!